Introductory Letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I hope this letter find you well. My name is Deivesh, and I am a new student in your Critical Thinking and Communication class this semester. I am writing this letter to introduce myself and express my eagerness to learn from you and my fellow classmates.
I am majoring in Mechanical Engineering, and I have a keen interest in finding out how things like cars and planes work, as well as learning how they are made. I love to tinker with simple household appliances such as a standing fan or vacuum cleaner, which enables me to better understand how they work with so many integrated parts. This propelled me to pursue a degree in engineering, as it will elevate my engineering knowledge and equip me with strong analytical skills that will aid me in my future career as an automation engineer.
I feel that a key communication strength that I possess, is the ability to explain complex terms to my audience simple enough that one with no prior knowledge in engineering will be able to grasp its concepts. One example would be a presentation I did in polytechnic, where I explained the basic concepts of a heat exchanger to my polytechnic lecturers who were not from engineering backgrounds. However, I do struggle with conveying my ideas clearly in the form of reports and letters. One example would be my final internship report in polytechnic where I presented all my content but did not have a flow to my report. This can be confusing for my lecturers as they may not comprehend my internship experience completely.
My goals for this module are to hone my technical writing skills and to sharpen my public speaking skills, so that I can put myself out to the working world as a bright but humble individual with the willingness to constantly improve myself.
In conclusion, I hope you have a better idea of me as a student and where you can give a helping hand. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and I look forward to working with you.
Regards,
Deivesh
Hi Deivesh, your introductory letter gave me a greater understanding of the person you are. You mentioned your strengths and weakness through the multiple examples you have provided, however it would be beneficial for you to elaborate how those experiences have shaped you and your motivation to overcome your weaknesses. Otherwise, it was a great read, and I wish you all the best in your quest to constantly improve yourself.
ReplyDeleteHi Deivesh, the vocabulary and word choices in this letter are very good. The structure and content is also very clear and comprehensible. However there are some long sentences which can be confusing to understand. Perhaps breaking them into shorter sentences might allow it to be easier to understand.
ReplyDeleteHello Deivesh, I loved the way you structured and introduced yourself in this letter, as mentioned in one of your strengths, your ability to explain complex terms simple enough, i felt at ease while reading this letter, probably because of the choice of your words. I have yet to hear you speak as much during class, but in the coming weeks, i'm sure i will be able to hear your voice and i hope that by then you could impress me!
ReplyDeleteDear Deivesh,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this well crafted letter. In it you provide lots of relevant information that leads us readers to having a much better understanding of who you are. I especially like learning the details on how you developed an interest in engineering. You also delve deeply into what your communication competencies are.
Generally, your letter is well articulated. Here are a couple minor issues to resolve:
1. the use of caps
-- ...in your Critical Thinking and Communication class. > (Does the subject need caps?)
-- I am majoring in Mechanical Engineering, and I.... > ?
2. punctuation
-- I feel that a key communication strength that I possess, is the ability.... > ?
These are minor points to consider.
Your public speaking will indeed be bolstered this term, but I also look forward to hearing more of your voice in class. That's my challenge to you.
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you for the feedback Prof Brad! I will revise my letter accordingly.
Delete